Becoming pregnant as an teenager, especially if the pregnancy is not wanted, can put enormous stress on young women and their families. However once it has happened there is no way to go back so the important thing is to support the young woman and to help her to make the wisest choice for her at this time.

Parents, too, will have their own feelings and wishes, but it is the young woman's life and things usually work out best if parents offer information and support but do not try to force her to follow their wishes.

 Choices

This is a very difficult time for a young woman who has only a short time to make a major decision. There is no easy way out.  

• The choices available are continuing with the pregnancy and keeping the baby or giving it up for adoption, or termination (abortion).
• Some factors to take into account are age, family, personal beliefs, access to services and support, how the young woman sees the pregnancy, and how far the pregnancy has progressed.

The decision needs to be the one that is the best possible decision for the young woman in difficult circumstances at this particular time. She needs to be able to look back and know that the decision she made was the best she could at the time. 

• Parents may feel that their daughter is too young to make a wise decision and may bring enormous pressure on her to do what they think is right.
• The young woman needs to feel that her parent(s) fully support whatever decision she makes.
• The father of the child, and his family may also want to be very involved in making decisions.
• In the end it is the young woman who needs to decide, and she needs to have as much information as possible before making her decision.
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  Issues for young people

  It is very important that the young woman has her parents' support at this time.

  • With or without keeping the baby, some will experience a positive result and some will experience isolation, lost opportunities, hardship, grief and disruption of relationships.
  • Young people tend to come for pregnancy testing and advice later than adults, which can result in less positive outcomes and fewer choices.
  • Teenagers' understanding (or misunderstanding) of how their parents will take their choice, can have a very real effect on decision making. It is important to talk things through with your daughter or son openly to clear up any misunderstandings they may have about what you really think.

   

  Issues for parents

  Parents may have many anxieties which arise out of concern for their daughter (or son).

  • Parents may experience shock, disappointment, anxiety, anger and sometimes a sense of guilt or responsibility.
  • There may be a loss of their dreams for their daughter (or son).
  • Some of the choices available could go against parents' values.
  • If their daughter does not tell them for a long time, there can be considerable disappointment that she feared their response so much.
  • There may be concerns about what friends and other family members think.